Damn! My plan! What if I just start cutting myself and smearing black mascara all over my face?

I have been able to deal with a lot of emotional pain in my life, I was not thrilled to learn that when I learned of my true love's wedding that I was going to have to hold 'The Age of Trials' for a period of two months. This would be the period where it was most tempting to give in and tell people about my inner conflict, or even race to stop the wedding- as I faced the prospect of forever losing the one who made such a difference in my being who I am. Society trains us to make bold and dramatic speeches, bursting through the door in the final moments before the ceremony is sanctified. I repressed FORCEFULLY a never-ending supernova of personal despair and agony to give no outward sign of what was happening to me, I sometimes worried that I wasn't going to make it with my sanity totally intact, but with the power of love and all of the scientific stress reduction techniques and psychological preparations I had carefully accumulated I carried through it all without a whimper, because breaking down in private might have made it easier to do so around other people. It was a price I gladly paid for her enduring peace. I know there are some of you out there who would really like to be my girlfriend or boyfriend, you've made sure I know it, but I think that you can carry through just as I did, I am no better than you.

In a final act of coincidence, an astronomer I had grown up watching on television late at night died during the last weeks, after so many years I looked up the final episode he had recorded online- it was for her wedding day, when apparently a giant triangle composed of three of my favorite stars would appear overhead every year. When the time came I had curled myself in my bed for days, imagining the flowers, the crowd, the priest, how happy and excited she felt, but I rose at the correct time that night to venture out and search the heavens. I walked into the pouring rain as lightening blazed above my head. Clouds had blocked out the sky.