Have you implemented these justifications in your own life already?

In a way I have, though not because I was thinking about killing myself. By late high school I began approaching the endgame of my plan. I had verified to myself I was not deluding myself, I was no only in love with the idea of my love, and even that I could visit such places as flashy Italian discothèques and remain unswayed in my relentless heterosexuality :-D (simple thought experimentation made it pretty obvious, but this could have been a learned reaction ingrained from a neoconservative upbringing!).

I was much improved, and it seemed as though she was actually becoming interested in me, her reactions were different when I was around and she demanded that one of her friends introduce us formally since we never seemed to talk much, and then she quickly invited me to hang out with her friends. She was doing the same with others of my colleagues however so any number of interpretations were possible, still this represented an amazing opportunity to bring things forward and finally act- I was very nervous as I looked myself over one last time before meeting up with the group (in a mirrored column at the North Grand Mall). I started running a fast overview-check of the entire history since the ski trip to ensure that I was really ready and that I hadn't forgotten anything, and that's when something stopped me dead... At this critical point as we were becoming closer I realized that even as hard as I had worked to perfect myself over YEARS for her, that I was never going to be fully able to purge myself of my deepest laziness, cruelty, ignorance, and banality- and thus I had to let her find someone better than myself and protect her at all cost from the risk I posed as an individual to her chance at prosperity and well-being!

While I loved her deeply and felt that I really understood her, that did not mean that we should be together if there were better people she could be with, and those people bested me even at my fullest potential. My dreams of our life together had consumed me, but love was about to win the final battle over infatuation, because I realized in that moment that her happiness, health, safety, and freedom were worth every sacrifice I could make, even if it meant that I would be alone for the rest of my life.