What happened next?

Synchronicity drove us together endlessly. Some of my friends would remark that my style of texting with emoticons reminded them of her (and I stopped IMing), she was enrolled in many of my classes, (I dropped out of my favorite foreign language and moved to another after Freshman year because I was afraid of that possibility), she would end up sitting in desks next to me frequently and sometimes even be closer than that. I felt this unnecessary of the universe to challenge me with since I still was not talking to her.

When you are obsessed with someone almost everything can remind you of that person, and the brain is quick to draw "mystical connections" like the fellow on Youtube screaming "What does it mean?" at the double-rainbow I would wander the streets at night on foot and sit on the roof of my house to watch the sunrise haunted by her face and the daily coincidences of relentless stochasticity.

Sometimes people would talk about her life right in front of me in highly unlikely ways, the songs that made me think of her would follow me everywhere, I might turn to the home shopping network late at night and wonder "Am I meant to buy this limited-edition (her birth gemstone) necklace for her?" Even her name added up to my two favorite numbers when I checked. I was hiking in the mountains of Colorado by myself once and between a shard of rock and a high boulder I had climbed on top of grew a single flower the exact color of her eyes. I considered myself one of the luckiest people in the world.

Earlier one icy day during a blizzard at fifteen I was on my way home and I lay down on a steep hill on a deserted sidewalk and argued with myself about just falling asleep and killing myself with hypothermia since my life was so filled with this intense passion I would surely have no better time to finish, it is better to kill yourself when you are really happy then really sad I thought (morbid as usual), but after serious consideration I had justified my own existence across several parameters and opted instead for getting up, going home, and making myself some cocoa with marshmallows.